My name is Kenneth Toso Tupea and I am the Author of the content that you will find here.  I suffer from mental illness.  I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder around 1999 at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City.  Schizoaffective disorder includes the manifestation of symptoms associated with Schizophrenia and Mood disorders which range from depression to mania.  I have been hospitalized involuntarily over 10 times due to psychotic crises.  I have been treated in 4 mental asylums.  University Neuropsychiatric Institute – now Huntsman Mental Health Institute, Utah;  Banner Health in Arizona; Utah State Hospital, Provo, and Highland Ridge, Utah.

Although the nature of my illness is cognitive and of the mind and relative to a chemical imbalance comparatively to brain functional algorithms attributed to normality-it is as real as any physical illness.  Many may view mental illness as a product of weakness, often leading to the stigmatization of individuals such as myself-there is a silver-lining within the weakness of mind.  Like any muscle, the tissue tears, to heal and made stronger.

On a daily regimen of mood-stabilizers and anti-psychotics-my brain has been torn, and in a constant state of healing and mending-strengthening my mental capacity and acuity.  Cognitively coherent at times, I often find myself so outside-the-box, that I must have a safe-space, that renders me inherently introverted, uncomfortable with change and drawn to familiarity.  This site is an attempt to record my thoughts during periods of clarity, where the majority of my time is in the clouds-inquisitively postulating the heavens-to which by the best professionals-categorically-labeled-as a hyper religious and grandiose-individual.

Professionally, I was formerly employed within the Information Technology sector relative to Database Management and Network Administration.  Educationally, I attended Dixie Junior College, now Utah Technical College, Salt Lake Community College, Arizona State University, and Utah Valley University.

I currently receive treatment at Valley Behavioral Health in an outpatient regimen- that requires regular psychotherapy which include emotional stability, management and prescription modifications.

Thank you to Stephanie Larsen and Christian Judd.

In September of 2023 I authored a book titled:  “The Preponderance of Evidence-Convictions of a Convict, which was a Best-seller, ranked in the Top Ten of 3 categories on Amazon.com-before I decided to unpublish.

In 2010 I was charged with Murder One, ultimately pleading guilty-but-mentally-ill to a Class A Misdemeanor-Manslaughter in 2012.

I currently reside in West Jordan, Utah with my wife of 23 years.  Together we have 6 kids.  Prior to my marriage I have fathered 3 children.

Suffering from mental illnesses I have often found myself with self-inflicted wounds.  The abrasive and grandiose nature of my illness has cost me many relationships with close friends and family.  I am at peace with my reality, and as such-move forward with optimism and humility.

Within this blog I write in split-persona:

Servus Amare – “Servant of Love.”

Oculus – “Manic Grandeur.”

Ancient of Days – “Retrospection”